January [15] 2017 - fears

I night mare of falls with no end, though,
when day breaks my heart aches differently.
I fake indifferent,
heed selectively though I listen
to my heartbeats
impeded by thoughts
of receding to days when
fears would fold me.
I hold me down, now, so thoroughly, 
I fear no one will compare.
my attachment to me has grown so impeccably,
it seems no one can adhere
to the standards
I've climbed mountains to secure. 
Some say insecure.
I say, not secured.
I fear the fine line between
free like loose leaf and
so free that no one can move me.