please x Sylvia Stevens

"I don't owe you an explanation, but if I did..."


Please understand why I hide away 

Why I suppress memories

That sometimes never fade away 

Please understand why I love entirely 

Or I don't love at all

And why I've given too much 

And allowed myself to fall 

Please understand that I am in love 

With the idea of being the center 

That is what allowed dysfunction to enter

I thought you could patch up 

Twenty years of feeling plain 

But you just became

Another source of pain 

And I was unfair 

To make you carry that weight 

But I didn't know I could be a burden 

I thought I was your escape 

Please understand 

Why I never call you back 

I've rehearsed over and over 

The formula to detach 

Somehow I've figured out 

How to distort time 

It was light years ago 

When I used to call you "mine"

I remember I used to count

The hours we were apart 

Because I needed you to stay 

But I'm more comfortable now 

The further you are away  

Please understand 

That I know myself better 

I hope you're understanding this 

From the last word

To the last letter

- Sylvia Stevens