Posts in Excerpts
BEFORE IT GETS BAD AGAIN

At some point I found myself alone in the living room. Basking in my completeness when it hit me. “Things feel good right now, it’s a good time to end it, you know… before it gets bad again.” The was no clear trigger aside from a moment of me taking inventory of my peace. Peace is a trigger?! This was new. Like clockwork, memories of all of my latest run-ins with stress, worry, anxiety, fear and loneliness came sauntering into the open field of my once rested mind, reminding me of all that could go wrong again.

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CELIBATE: YEAR 2- KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

I didn’t stop being celibate, though there were moments I had to ask myself what the point was in all that I was forcing myself to endure ‒ and yes, there did come a point (several in fact) when it no longer felt like a choice that I made but like a punishment that I had to endure for an indefinite period of time. That point was accompanied by all the strength I felt from reclaiming my power thinning out and I hung on by a fairly loose thread to the remnants of my regained virtues.

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CELIBATE: 1 YEAR AND COUNTING

I knew enough about myself to know what I did and didn’t want on the surface but the more I leveled up in my personal growth the more things changed and the more standards I had.  Realizing this let me know that I needed to either set my standards to what would fit the person I was growing into or just wait until I got there to go back to “dating”.

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