Peace to the women who purposely reject their femininity in order to be taken seriously in the working world. That is not easy to do when the need for love meets the “clear standard” of what women “should” look/ act like. Much respect, sisters. But what does it mean for those of us who choose to embrace femininity as well as our desires to be prominent working women, dope artists and overall respected, outside of the kitchen and the bedroom?
I am an artist, so I speak from the perspective of a woman interested in pursuing her art and establishing herself outside of “relationships” all all other relating forms of male/female dynamics. There are women completely okay with using &/or allowing their sexuality to open doors for them but that comes at a cost, one that not all of us are willing to pay.
Peace to the women who have figured out that self proclaimed is all you really need to get started. The women who know what they want and opt to get it on their own. I haven’t come across many women who primarily grind for the manifestation of their happy ending as it would be without the presence of a man (partner). How do I know? The grind slows or comes to a complete stop when someone new enters their life and when the problems begin is when the progress resumes. No shade, though… we’ve all done it. We’ve all allowed the distractions to slow us down when “happiness” was within reach because our beds were being warmed by more than just our own bodies. Shit happens, I understand.
And Peace to all the men who have praised a woman for their “potential” up until it was made clear that not all of their interests were willing to be reciprocated. I’ve come across that a lot in the past year since I began networking and meeting other artists who “like my work”. It is disgusting but not discouraging enough to want to quit. I’ve had men email me subtly requesting nudes upon expressing interest in my body painting as well as writers/ rappers and other types of musicians extending invitations to collaborate and never following up once other advances were not accepted. More recently, a photographer out of New York requested a session. He attempted to set up a photoshoot through text and once the prospective dates were set, he began attempting to flirt, rather poorly I must say, but I ignored it. A few days later, I received a text message saying “Hey” at around 1 a.m. I opened it (with my read receipt on) and never replied. A few days later, I received another text message at a more appropriate time, saying, “long time no talk”, I replied that I had been busy and never heard from him again.
Not all of my experiences with guys have been ridiculous, however. There are some who have been extremely professional and simply about their business or just in it for the love of art. They are greatly appreciated! The others, not so much.
Sharing stories like these with guy friends always return laughs and I can’t blame them, it is fairly comedic but after a while, it gets old. So for the lot of us ladies who would like to reach our goals while exercising our right to not "sleep our way to the top", how do we overcome the struggles that come with being a woman who wants more from life than love and the flings in between?
I don’t have an answer, sorry. I’m still trying to figure it out myself. The only thing I can say for sure, though, is that although this sort of penisism cannot be avoided.. don’t take that shit lying down (figuratively speaking).
Kimolee Eryn is an artist and writer who believes in creating for a purpose beyond the purpose of creating. She believes that a life should be lived not just to sustain itself but to cultivate peace, love and growth in all adjacent beings and hopes to exemplify that in all she does.